Remember your dress pants.

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Last month, I released a book about how to lead funerals. The book was barely out and my friend Dan said, “Did you remind people to make sure they have pants?” 

I told him that I had neglected that reminder. And then I asked him why he believed that was a necessary requirement.

He told me his story of pants falling off a hanger, unnoticed. He told me about the puddle they landed in, about the call from his wife about the pants. 

When it comes to leading funerals, we each have our list of things we will always check. We each have our safety net of people who care about us and for us. We each have our moments of personal misadventure. (I thought about the word “shame” or “embarrassment” or “chagrin”. But it’s not like Dan walked out on the platform without any pants.) 

And we can each have courage. 

Though Dan had that moment with (or without) the pants, he still leads funerals. He is on call for a couple funeral homes to lead services when there isn’t anyone else. It’s a compassionate thing to do.

He always remembers his pants, now. He has never forgotten to care for the people who need it.


When you are asked to do a funeral and you aren’t sure where to start, you could ask Dan. Or you could start here: Giving a Life Meaning: How to lead funerals, memorial services, and celebrations of life is like an email from a pastoral mentor.

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